They say that to lose weight you just need to have a good enough reason, a strong enough motivation to do what it takes. You have to say to yourself “from this day on, I simply cannot do anything to setback my goal to have a healthy body”.
They say to stay off drugs you just need to have a good enough motivation, a strong enough reason, to do what must. You have to say to yourself every single day “today I will not use, today I will not drink”.
Every day is a struggle, every hour a battle, will I eat that slice of cake, will I take those pills, will I pop into that bar, will I talk to those people, who have fallen today and could drag me with them, will I do my exercises, repeat my affirmations, reaffirm my motivations, call my sponser, read my literature.
Every day is a struggle, a fight that will never be won until the cool sweet embrace of death, that begins again every morning, every hour, every minute, every second, every breath.
And then you wonder, can’t I break free from this? If I use all my energy staving off relapse, if I use all my energy every day NOT doing things, when will I ever have energy left to DO things? When will I be free? How will my life ever be meaningful, how will it ever create anything of value to anyone, if all I ever fucking do is stop myself doing things, because whatever else happens today, I cannot use, I must not overeat.
